Far be it from me –

Alice Miller defines Child Mistreatment, Child Abuse

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Alice Miller defines Child Mistreatment, Child Abuse

Humiliations, spankings and beatings, slaps in the face, betrayal, sexual exploitation, derision, neglect, etc. are all forms of mistreatment, because they injure the integrity and dignity of a child, even if their consequences are not visible right away. However, as adults, most abused children will suffer, and let others suffer, from these injuries. This dynamic of violence can deform some victims into hangmen who take revenge even on whole nations and become willing executors to dictators and cruel leaders. Beaten children very early on assimilate the violence they endured, which they may glorify and apply later as parents, in believing that they deserved the punishment and were beaten out of love. They don’t know that the only reason for the punishments they had to endure is the fact that their parents themselves endured and learned violence without being able to question it.

This is why society’s ignorance remains so immovable and parents continue to produce severe pain and destructivity – in all “good will”, in every generation. Most people tolerate this blindly because the origins of human violence in childhood have been and are still being ignored worldwide. Almost all small children are smacked during the first three years of life when they begin to walk and to touch objects which may not be touched. This happens at exactly the time when the human brain builds up its structure and should thus learn kindness, truthfulness, and love but never cruelty and lies. Fortunately, there are many mistreated children who find “helping witnesses” and can feel loved by them.

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The Roots of Violence are NOT Unknown – Alice Miller

by Alice Miller

The Roots of Violence are NOT Unknown

The misled brain and the banned emotions

The Facts:

1. The development of the human brain is use-dependent. The brain develops its structure in the first four years of life, depending on the experiences the environment offers the child. The brain of a child who has mostly loving experiences will develop differently from the brain of a child who has been treated cruelly.

2. Almost all children on our planet are beaten in the first years of their lives. They learn from the start violence, and this lesson is wired into their developing brains. No child is ever born violent. Violence is NOT genetic, it exists because beaten children use, in their adult lives, the lesson that their brains have learned.

3. As beaten children are not allowed to defend themselves, they must suppress their anger and rage against their parents who have humiliated them, killed their inborn empathy, and insulted their dignity. They will take out this rage later, as adults, on scapegoats, mostly on their own children. Deprived of empathy, some of them will direct their anger against themselves (in eating disorders, drug addiction, depression etc.), or against other adults (in wars, terrorism, delinquency etc.)

Questions and Answers:

Q: Parents beat their children without a second thought, to make them obedient. Nobody, except a very small minority, protests against this dangerous habit. Why is the logical sequence (from being a misled victim to becoming a misleading perpetrator) totally ignored world-wide? Why have even the Popes, responsible for the moral behaviour of many millions of believers, until now never informed them that beating children is a crime?

A: Because almost ALL of us were beaten, and we had to learn very early that these cruel acts were normal, harmless, and even good for us. Nobody ever told us that they were crimes against humanity. The wrong, immoral, and absurd lesson was wired into our developing brains, and this explains the emotional blindness governing our world.

Q: Can we free ourselves from the emotional blindness we developed in childhood?

A: We can – at least to some degree – liberate ourselves from this blindness by daring to feel our repressed emotions, including our fear and forbidden rage against our parents who had often scared us to death for periods of many years, which should have been the most beautiful years of our lives. We can’t retrieve those years. But thanks to facing our truth we can transform ourselves from the children who still live in us full of fear and denial into responsible, well informed adults who regained their empathy, so early stolen from them. By becoming feeling persons we can no longer deny that beating children is a criminal act that should be forbidden on the whole planet.

Conclusion:

Caring for the emotional needs of our children means more than giving them a happy childhood. It means to enable the brains of the future adults to function in a healthy, rational way, free from perversion and madness. Being forced to learn in childhood that hitting children is a blessing for them is a most absurd, confusing lesson, one with the most dangerous consequences: This lesson as such, together with being cut off from the true emotions, creates the roots of violence.

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James Rhodes interview “It’s important to say that bad things happen and we don’t lie about it”

http://www.theguardian.com/music/2015/may/23/james-rhodes-pianist-interview?CMP=fb_gu

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Police poised to level charges in paedophile ring linked to MPs | ExaroNews

Police poised to level charges in paedophile ring linked to MPs | ExaroNews.

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From The Observer Sunday 19 May 2013 – Mental illness: the claim that abuse is behind psychosis is irresponsible Oliver James’s assertions are unhelpful and risk demonising people

http://gu.com/p/3gv3y

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Severe #abuse in childhood may treble risk of #schizophrenia. #mhuk

Severe #abuse in childhood may treble risk of #schizophrenia. #mhuk.

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Childhood Trauma As A Risk Factor for Psychosis

It is well documented that children who experience difficulties in childhood are at increased risk for various negative mental health outcomes. In the last decade many population based studies have suggested that childhood trauma is a risk factor for psychosis. The link is now well accepted. What do we mean by childhood trauma? Emotional abuse, physical abuse, general abuse, sexual abuse and physical neglect.

Possible pathways are the relationships between negative perception of the self and negative affect, and biological mechanisms such as dysregulated cortisol (a stress hormone) and increased sensitivity to stress. Psychotic patients with a history of childhood trauma tend to have post traumatic stress disorder, high levels of depression and anxiety and are responsible for more suicide attempts.

Children who have been abused are more likely to seek abusive partners as adults as they unconsciously repeat pattens of the past. They are likely to have very low self esteem and be non assertive.

Statistics show that 1 in 4 of us will experience mental health problems; our children are at risk – nearly 12 million of them. That’s why it’s vital that the government provides adequate mental health services for children. Currently only half of all local authorities provide mental health services for children and this is due to government cuts. Recently the government pledged £22m for children’s mental health services but frankly this is a drop in the ocean. If we fail our children and do not protect their mental health we are looking at a ticking time bomb.

The greatest gift you can give to a child is to listen. Not medicate, label and ignore, but listen to what they have to tell you.

The government has to review its spending on children’s mental health or the consequences will be catastrophic.

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